UPDATE LIFE.

i havent posted in a while...mostly because i am always swarmed with homework and the little time i do have to do something, i use to it to sleep or come out of my room to talk to people. i am sleeping in right now. i missed drawing class because i am just so exhausted. i knew i shouldnt have gone to work yesterday but my stinkin cousin told me to so i went. they had another girl there to help so they didnt even really need me. i wasted 3-4 hours of drawing time. i got home at 6:30, ate dinner and started drawing. then in my attempt to make some new friends other than my roommate, i stupidly agreed to go to this girl's apt down the street for dinner at 9:30. it was nice though and she made asian food so i mean, there's nothing to complain about that. i had a smirnoff ice and stayed there with my other friend, mina at the girls house till like 11:30. though we had a lot of fun, i had 5 drawings due the next morning. so i grabbed a mexican beer and went home to quickly start my homework. i was so exhausted already from the whole day. i went home, whipped out the charcoal and went straight to work...until 1:45 which then i just couldnt take it anymore and went straight to sleep. i hardly finished my last drawing but i couldnt take it anymore, ive been too stressed that i really just couldnt do it. so i slept in. i feel bad but i really just needed it. i was stressing all weekend, doing art on photoshop and sculpture. i was panicky and i am always a bit nervous when it comes to critiques. i always want to make good art, put my best effort but its hard when i have to balance work, homework, friends, and sleep. i am especially nervous in this one class called form study which is like an intro to 3-D art. i don't do 3-D art and it is very new for me. i enjoy the class however and the projects are very interesting but everyone in the class is very critical including the teacher, and most of them are very much into 3-D design. So, i am really having a hard time coming up with materials, ideas, and paying for materials...good thing my form study teacher is obsessed with me being asian :D

the first day of form study, my teacher JP, commented on my chopsticks made of out rice, "not to be stereotypical but you know, in japanese people are very meticulous and clean about their work..." She kept going on and on about japanese art and then in the end i said, "you know im not japanese right?" She turned so red and started laughing. I think that was the beginning of our relationship and every time she mentions an asian artist, she looks at me expecting me to know who it is. It's stupid and funny at the same time considering who she is, and how she is. She is a real nice teacher, and the class is hella fun and i mean, if she likes me for being asian...



then she definetly loooved my rice ballz sculptures :D

Anyway, one of my biggest problems right now is FRIENDS. not that i dont have any but that i have many, in different places, and groups, and personalities. I DO THAT EVERY EVERY TIME I START A NEW SCHOOL. i make friends with a bunch of random ass people but none of them seem to not get along, but have similar interests. i love them all but i neevr know how to unite them into one big group..anmd its hard to hang out with one peson..and then hang out with another. sigh.

word.

uhmz some awesome kid in my class played son of the preacher man on the shared playlist of drawing class. twas awesome.

theres legit WORK? IN COLLEGE?

no of course i knew there would be work..BUT I DIDNT REALIZE HOW MUCH WORK. GATAEHAERHEARGA i love all my art projects, i guess by real work i mean like writing my 3 page paper on the meaning of circular logic and ideology for race in america. meeh..its not even that i dont like it, i think its interesting stuff, it's just my brain cant go beyond picking up a pencil and drawing cartoons. i finished it though with the help of bumpkinz, i swear if i didnt have her, i wouldve failed miserably. anyway i have that class in about 10 minutes..and im listening to TEgan and Sara- i know i know. it reminds me of the summer. I want it to be the weekend...and I want it to be me visitng peoples up in worcester..i dont want to go to class and i feel muggy and icky. I slept too much today.

9/12/08 10:35 AM

so im laying in my bed, i just woke up and im feeling a little anxious. i have a lot of work to do and im still working on it. not that im in a bad spot or anything but there is this one project that IS bugging me. BUT AS I AM TYPING THIS I THINK I AM COMING OUT WITH SOME IDEA THAT MAY JUST WORK. this is a good creative process for me, talking to someone, or something(ima freak). anyway other than that, i am ok. there hasnt been much going on. there arent a lot of parties at my school which is good sometimes, and other times, it gets a little boring. its just we have homework that takes a lot of effort and creativity...and no one here wants to fuck up or be looked down upon.

the project thats bugging me is this project where i take an ordinary everyday object and changing its material and disabling its function. so i am building a replica with a material is almost "mocks" or is the most inappropriate material for the purpose of the original object. also, the object in the end cant work anymore. so i thought of 3 things so far and i need to think of 10 ideas with 5 inappropriate materials for each. so my three objects are: chopsticks, oven mitt, and feather so far. i was thinking of building the chopsticks out of hard rice? but rice is so small, itll take me forever to do and i only have 5 days. then with the oven mitt, i was going to weave strips of metal and i think that would be cool but that isnt as interesting to me. then, the feather i just came up with now. 2 years ago, i made a giant feather out of chicken wire and plain wire so maybe i might do it again. it looks cool and it is a contradicting material. im not sure. the chopsticks one would look cool cos the rice is like off white but god would that one take me all night and day. sigh.

JIIILLLLL PAARRTTYYY

Urban dictionary dot com: Jack and Jill party: a gathering of males and females, who masturbate in front of each other for mutual stimulation and enjoyment. (Generally looking is encouraged but touching is not.)

Minus Jack, a jill party is a gathering of JUST females who masturbate in front of each other for mutual stimulation, and enjoyment.

We had a jill party.

and. it. was. GREAT.

Well...ok maybe it wasn't EXACTLY a "jill party" (however bumpkinz and i had our OWN jill party in my room ^_~) I mean, there were a lot of girls, and some dudes. We were around each other and we were enjoying ourselves...however, there was no masturbating going on, maybe if I was drunk enough and if someone held me against my will, but fortunately there was no watching of other females touching their own genitilias.

It was Jill's(my roomie) 18th birrthhdday!! we love her! she's so great. she's mad chill, mad pretty, mad funny, and has maaaad boy drama. so it's really entertaining for us. it was her birthday and it was orientation so we decided to throw her a special parrttyy with shrimp fried rice, jello shots, wine, and vodkaa. Best combination everr. By the way, shrimp costs soo much money and I can't even STAND it. anyway, we had dinner and watched Amelie for a little bit.

Why is it that every time there is a birthday party, the birthday girl is NEVER THERE.

Our Jill baby fell asleep in her room as everyone started walkin in and joining the paarty. We woke her up though eventually becaaause we had to go to a free concert at B.U, the DRUG RUG, whom by the way is AWESOME. i love them. Anyway, so we went to see that and I hadn't really listened to them before so I was a little skeptical but once I got there, they were SO GREAT. I fell in love with the drummer, he was fucking sexy as hell. He was a little hobo-ey but he was fucking sexy. The beats were great, the crowd was great. I loved it and so did Jill. Bumpkinz was enjoying it with me as well and we had a fucking great time bathing in our own greatness. "We love me."

Then we took the train back to the campus so get our party on. The train was hella hot and I was so uncomfortable because SOMEONE hid my razor!!! so I had to wear a cardigan. I found it in the morning on top ledge of the shower(bassstarrds.) Then we got home, Jill's lovaaah string bean alex and her friend noodle molly came baring gifts, wine, cheese, and love!! and cake! pound cake :D that had a mustache but sadly it fell apart. poo. We ate some food, drank some good stuff. Me and bumpkinz had our honorary ssdh sister shots. Oh and sexy gay british boy along with coolios costa rican man came dropping by baring love as well. It was all good in the hood until it got a little loud and it was after hours so an RA came by and just told us to chill out a little bit. But, that scared the shit outta everyone so our jill baby got a litle anxious. People started leaving and me, bumpkinz, joe bear, damian(other british boy not gay) and anum(pakistani roomie) went out to chill. We did some jeeks, and it didn't hit anyone else except me and bumpkinz cos it was shitty in the beginning and good at the end.

It was great. me and bumpkinz had a great time. we reminisnced and we talked about how great we all are. We talked about colleging, and how we wish everyone is having a good time. then, an unexpected turn of events started happening. our swanky british boy(damian) had a little too much of everything and not enough responsibility(if ya know what i mean.) The boy began saying some things that i don't want to repeat, at least, not on here...stories were told, truths were admitted, and misunderstandings were covered. me, bumpkinz, and muna(anum hah it means little boy in indian?) were being extra supportive and good to our british one. Let's just say that more came out of his mouth other than just his life story that included a whole can of jolt, and bits of pizza. After that was said and done(in front of the dorms under a tree) we helped him in back to his dorm to get him some food in his stomach and medicine. Joe bear came in to hang out and that was fun until i decided to go to the bathroom, swanker(new nickname for british boy) also decided to hurrl all over the floor of my kitchen and sink. Well, then we REALLY had to take him back to his room. our Jill baby(bettty boop new nickname cos she looks like her) got really irritated and we had to take him away.

joe bear haha, jb(jonas brothers cos he looks like one and hates it so he grew a beard) hung out with me and bumpkinz for 2 hours sharing our love for geeky things slash, bumpkinz and JB were sharing their love for dinos and space. I love that stuff too, im just not geeky enough to name other dinosaurs other than the T-rex and all of Pluto's moons. Anyway, we still had fun. It was great, and everyone LOVES bumpkinz we really wish she had chosen to go to OUR SCHOOL INSTEAD poop. our other roomie, mariah, she kind of looks like a bear and baby, baby bear was snugglin in her room with a certain someones special came out and told us we were loud so everyone just went to sleep. me and bumpkinz had maad fun.

next mornin we went to se rocckyy! shes got pink hairr she looks like a little pixie i love her. we went out to dick blick and burritos. then we walked back and saw a art piece with cranes and messages that was mad cools. basically it was all different sized cranes hung on fishing line and you had scissors and you had to cut one and open it apart for messages. the small ones had like problems in the world and the big ones had messages that said like "create change" and stuff. it was clever. bumpkinz even got photographed by a massart student yay.

then i had my class at 1:30 called intro to western art cept i startd falling asleep because i onl slept like 5 hours since we all went to sleep at 3:30 am. it was great though the teacher is so good but he stopped on the "The Last Supper" for waay too long. then me and JB went to rockies apartment to chill with her. we went to jp licks and played WII for a little bit. it was a bizaaree game anyway, those clever japanese. me and JB walked back and hes goin home for the weekend, and so is I. so i will retreat now to bi's house to grab some free dinner and then i wil be off to my home. yo. laters

nothin much cheez wiz

AIM IM with PMot1999/3/08 8:29 PM
me:DONT EAT A MUDDIN
WUTSUP
NUFFIN
MUUFFFIINN
tehe
once upon a time
there was a squirrel
name quan
and she was hungry
and wanted some buts
and she
went up a tree
and got some
:nuts:
thata nir a rgu
damn you
(in english accent)
ya kno like
dAAAAam\
IM NOT SCary\
oh crap
it changed back to nt capitalized
sorry
lemme do that again
I AM SCARY
PETER: holy crap
PETER:u write sooooooooo much
I AM NOT AN AX
:chop:
PETER:whats up
PETER:how u doing
nuffin
muffin
PETER:haha
PETER:whats shakin bakin
nothin much cheez wiz
college'
ballage
by the way its bacon.
my face is shaking
PETER:your face is shakin?
like YO BACON
PETER:haha
PETER:TWIZLERS are sweet



my wednesday night activity at college. with BUMPKINZ


i wish i was in worchester. high.

3:00-7:15

NOT A SUFFICIENT AMOUN OF SLEEEEEP BUMPKINZ I HAVE CAUGHT YOUR DAAMN SLEEPING HABIT!!!!

Yo I'm in COLLEEGGGEEEAAHH bitches.

chyea so im officially moved in, settled, and loving it. i have my single, my living room, and my kitchen. i love my roommates except that one disappeared today...but shes cool too. its just really odd that im finally in college, and actually living out on my own. it's pretty nice...it's just kind of trippy. i also just saw this movie called "Fear of losing in Las vegas" with johnny depp and some puerto rican actor. it's about handling intense drug use while road trippin to las vegas...yeah it was intense. it made me think twice bout drugs now..well, at least the intense kind. anyway, college is dope(ahaha).

anyway, move in was fun. my mom and aunt helped me and my mom woke me up in the crack of dawn so..im fucking tired as hell right now. although i shouldnt be complaining because my other room mates are from farther places than...where i am 20 minutes from my college. i am just so fucking happy i have a single. anyway, most people at mass art is mad chill...even the security peoples are mad chill. i feel...very at home which i didn't expect especially on the first day. i guess i'm lucky then...especially since i live in the pent house of the 8th floor WOOT.

there aren't a lot of people of color here. it's a little annoying but i like my white folk too. i just wish there were some asians around to share my asian ness with. theres this one dude that asian. hes forever staring at me...i think it's because im asian. see? that's what i'm talking about. There are no asians so all the other asians seek each other out. There's also some really tall chick that's asian that was staring at me a lot. oh well.

i think i am going to lose so much weight at art college. even with a meal plan and kitchen? i think im just going to forget to eat because i am hustling about all the time. i'm not even joking but maybe it was just the first day. it's just, i eat mad home cooked meals at my house and now, i'm eating peanut butter and jelly for dinner! i am just too tired to cook anything slash i went grocery shopping today and i am too broke to buy any ingredients. i bought bread, cheese, pasta and pasta sauce. that's what im going to be living off of...what the fuck?

anyway, im really excited to start classes. im just so excited. today, my roomies decided to bake some cookies for our boy neighbors(my roomies are boooy crazy) but not in an obnoxious slut way. it's kind of funny and charming. any way, our neighbors appreciated it. we also went to our seminars for like safe living. it wasnt so bad, it was really informal. it was kind of funny. there are cool peoples, most of the RA's are nice. there was one obnoxious chick asking way too many unnecessary questions..but its college, and its art college so theres gotta be some fucking weirdos. im just glad im pretty. good night.

The importance of changing your tampon and by god, please IN PRIVATE.

Peeing, pooping, bleeding, vomitting, farting, etc. are all disgusting, unfortunate, but necessary aspects of the everyday human life. Although everyone does it, and although everyone knows they do it, not everyone is comfortable sharing it. No one really likes to talk about it. I mean, it's usually not the topic of choice especially during a friendly gathering, or even at the dinner table. So, why the fuck are we talking about it? It is simply because eventually, we just have to. I mean, I'm not suggesting that people should bring it up during normal conversation, but sometimes, we just need to get it out of the way.

Eventually, we all just need to accept it. It's just a part of being a healthy human being, and it's not something to make a big deal out of. You just go, do it, and forget about it. But when one is sharing a bathroom with multiple people, does performing certain bodily functions suddenly become a much bigger deal? For some people, yes, and for others, no; however, many can agree with me that performing this type of business is best when done alone. Why? Well, because it is just down right disgusting!

Why would you want someone to be in the bathroom with you while you do your thing? It is not a fun, or exciting activity! Even if you were my boyfriend, spouse, or lover, I would not want to invite you into the bathroom for a poo-poo party! Why some people don't mind it, I don't know(because their crazy). No, I really just don't know. I guess for some people, it's not such a big deal and since it is such a private activity, some people think that having their lover witness such actions would break some sort of uncomfortable barrier. I guess it's true, but I am thoroughly content just knowing that my boyfriend is accepting of the fact that I need to do my business. I don't need him to walk into the bathroom while I'm changing my tampon and strike a conversation with me. That would be just disgusting.

I understand that if two people love each other, certain bodily functions that need to be performed will be accepted. I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do. He or she needs to do it too or else, shit! where you gonna go do it? It's natural, so a lot of lovers understand that. However, there is a bathroom, and bathrooms are specific rooms made with a door for people to do those kind of things, privately. Whether you choose to have your lover in the room with you or not while your doing your thing, it is still just fucking nasty.

It's not an understanding thing, it's not a trust thing, it's not an accepting thing, it's just a nasty thing. Why would you choose to go watch each other do their business?(unless you were into that kind of thing) It isn't a pleasant activity to witness! 

Now I'm not talking about your lover being uncomfortable with these type of actions. I mean, the person you love and live with should be unaffected by the fact that you do it too. But does that mean your lover should be so unaffected by it that they should waltz into the bathroom while your taking a number 2 and strike a conversation? I mean, is there a certain limit? Hells the fuck yes! I don't want my boyfriend to watch me poop, like, ew, get the fuck out! 

Or even worse! WATCHING ME CHANGE MY TAMPON OR PAD EW. That, my friends is just entirely INAPPROPRIATE. It's just disgusting! I wouldn't want my boyfriend to see all that unnecessary nasty-ness. Sure, it's fine if you know, i'm sleeping next to him and i happened to have a little "accident" and he was completely understanding. But I would never, ever invite my lover to come watch me, ::cringe:: change my tampon.

That is that. 

The even more disturbing part of this post is that there are people out there who are actually really uncomfortable with the idea of doing these things under the same roof of their lover. I say, "If I'm fucking him, I'm gonna pee, poop, or change my pad/tamp..."

in the bathroom of course.

http://jezebel.com/5043261/the-importance-of-being-able-to-change-your-period-products-in-public

Read the article. Then you'll understand. And if you don't feel like it, here are some quotes from the article that may or may not help you understand why i was ranting about certain bodily functions. If you still don't understand, then, uhm, well this is awkward.

"I knew it was love when my BF at the time and I were camping and he had to take a beer-shit in the woods while I held the flashlight so that he could wipe. However, he is a bit squeamish about blood, so he has seen me do my period stuff, but I don't make him look/or make it a show or anything. Mostly he's brushing his teeth or something and glances over, but it's never longer than a glance."

" One time I pulled one out and *grossness ahead* a blood clot came flying out with it. I almost gagged, and I doubt my bf would be all "nice blood clot"... I just think it can be unexpectedly messy"

"With regards to poop: I went through an entire year and a half relationship without farting in front of, or pooping in the same house as the guy I was dating. We weren't living together, but he was always so weirded out about it, and refused to say anything about it. Needless to say, I think I have permanent intestinal problems as a result of his lack of grab on reality"

"I had a boyfriend pull one out of me in a strangely erotic way.

It helped that we were both high as fuck."


'nuff said.

One little monkey jumping on the bed

I did a series of self portraits with my camera. Just me jumping around on my bed, they are kinda ill.

1.
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7.
8.
9.
Anyway, this is what happens when you get stuck in the attic for too long. It was fun though, timing myself, jumping all funny, and I even got some exercise in. Try It :D

Literal...Stuck in the Attic.

3 days since Monday, I've been cooped up in the attic doing absolutely nothing. I wake up around 9:30, lay in my bed soaking in the morning light until 10:30. Then i turn on my lap top to catch up on the latest episode of anime I didn't get to see before I went to bed the night before. I finish at least two episodes before I decide that it's officially lunch time. My gramma has been sick so she hasn't been the one grocery shopping in chinatown; therefore, there is no legit food in the house. My gramma is the one who remembers things that I actually eat such as bread, juice, and moree bread. Alas, she is ill so there is no bread. ::sigh::

She also doesn't cook much since shes sick and since everything in my refrigerator is either frozen meat or fruit, I have nothing but eggs. So I've been eating cheese omelets for the past 3 days for either breakfast, or lunch. I can't eat too many eggs or else that will get sickening and then what will I have left to eat? After that, i retrieve back to my room to either sleep, or watch more anime...dangit Ckinz! Thus, my life.

It's not so bad actually, I mean i do wish I had someone to hang out with but the past few days have been really nice weather and I really enjoy the sun creeping into my room. I feel really content just hanging out here, relaxing. It gives me some time to unwind before college starts. I did go shopping yesterday with my mom because she needed some shorts and I managed to get her to buy me a new DS Lite charger and some new rechargable batteries for my camera.

When I was in Best Buy to look for my charger, I met one of the employees there. I asked him for some guidance, and he directed me towards what I needed. Too bad, he was really socially awkward and really condescending towards me since I didn't know what kind of charger I wanted. He asked me, "AC or DC?" I said, "I don't know what that means," and he replies with a sigh, "The car or the wall?" I mean do I look like the type of person who would know something like that? After that, he began to treat me like an ignorant little girl who doesn't know a thing about electronics, which I don't but he didn't have to make it as if I was stupid. I just wanted a damn charger. He did, however tell me to go to Game Stop instead to buy it because it was too expensive at Best Buy. I guess he did good, but he was still rude. So then I went to Game Stop to get my charger instead which was indeed cheaper. They were playing some channel on the T.V about gaming. It creeped me out a little because it was a channel made specifically for gamers. It was a news cast and they were interviewing people who were playing in a tournament of some sort for some kind of card game. Magic? maybe. Anyway, it was kind of weird. Then I went home, satisfied with my black tights, Ds charger, and rechargable batteries. I got to play my DS again.

I'm not even a serious gamer but I do like to indulge in some video games once in a while. It's fun to make little characters do things in a little screen, especially when I'm stuck in my attic all day. Then again, the only game I have is my doggy game and that is getting a little tiring.

Good Times

You know, I never realized that going away to college would feel like this. I never would've thought that this feeling would come when college was just arriving right around the corner. You'd think you'd be excited, I mean I am, but mostly I am just sad. Just plain sad. Sad to the point where I don't want to go out, do anything, or worse even see people. I just want to lay in my bed hoping that time would never pass. That this whole experience is going by as slowly as possible, or not even going at all. All the people I love are going off to college and of course, I am happy for them, but at the same time I want to keep them close. I don't want to let them go. Whether they are an hour to a plane ride away, i really just want to hold them close and never let them go.

I mean, I spend all this time with my friends and we all made such amazing memories that the thought of them actually leaving me is the worst feeling in the world. These were the people i saw everyday for 2, 3, 6 years. All my time was spent with these people, and I've developed relationships that are stronger than any other relationships i've ever made. I mean, these people are the reason why I think my life is so great. What more can I say? I mean, these people are great, the best, and now, the best of the best is breaking apart.

But apart from the shittyness, I think it's great that everyone is going all over the place. I really think this will make our relationship even stronger. We're going to try our best to keep in touch, more so than any other people with their high school friends would ever try. I mean, when we set out minds to doing something, we usually do it especially when it means this much to us. I think it'll be great, because we're great and a stupid plane ride cannot seperate our friendship just like that.

There are ways, and we will find them. We've had some good times, but we've got our whole entire lives to make even better ones.

In Recent News: Micheal Phelps is killing everyone in the water...and that's not even possible...with a straw.

This Guy is Great. His eyes are ginormous and he kind of talks like a surfer dude slash preppy chick slash Joel Mchale on speed, on crack, and caffeine. Fuck, let's get on some news!

My life is coming to an end.

The moment i went home yesterday night, i fell asleep and i wanted to blog but i could hardly open my eyes to do it. I was so tired from the whole day. It was officially last day of camp. I knew it, the kids knew it, so the entire half of the day was really hectic. The kids were taking advantage of it and fucking around, my helper person was being a fucking weirdo, and lunch wasn't being served until 2 pm. It was also pretty warm so i was sweating all over. Anyway, what i was really pissed about was the fact that the parents of the most troublesome kids did NOT give us any appreciation gifts. I mean, it's not expected and it's not required of them but when you send your bratty little kids to camp for us to deal with for the whole summer, you could at least write a thank you note. Anyway, i was pissed as fuck because it would've been nice to get some extra cash for all the crap we had to deal with the whole summer.Me and the other counselors couldn't believe some of the parents. I mean these are rich families who have so much money, they don't know what to do with it. I know it's like our job to take care of the kids but I guess, I could have just sat and watched them just like any other ol' camp counselor but I didn't just do that. I engaged them and made sure all of them were happy. I mean I did a fucking lot at this camp and I didn't even get a thank you note. Fucking parents. Then we had to help clean the campus and get rid of any thing that has to do with the camp so that the school can start functioning soon. That wasn't so bad, i thought it was going to take forever. I walked past the EC which is a room that me and my friends used to hang out in and i got all sentimental. Then bumpkinz walked in, miss sunshine walked in and we all sat there reminiscing. Then i went to the art room just to look at it and i found some of my art :D. It was so nice and I didn't realize how much i actually missed my school...
Lunch was served and twas delicious. It best be delicious since it was the last lunch of camp(and of my whole highschool career!) Then me and my fellow counselor decided to go get some booze. Personally, I thought the chosen activity was very appropriate for after camp. Right when I was about to leave, my boss hands me my check except I knew I wasn't suppose to get it since they have already issued all of them last friday and if there were any absences after that, the check was supposed to be held over to make changes, and I knew I had missed monday. Fuckers didn't tell me THAT tid bit before I went home. I mean, if you've been working here for years, why wouldn't you tell me that? I would've stuck it out. Anyway, so i looked at her and said, "My check?" and she looks at me, takes the check away from my hand and realizes that she wasn't suppose to give it to me. I WAS SOOO PISSED. I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST LET FREE MONEY SLIP RIGHT OUT OF MY HAND. AAARRGGHHH. My head counselor was behind me like laughing and telling me how stupid I was. Oh well, I got booze right after anyway.

Sat 5:54 PM
Ok I just got home from my first day of work at a tutoring place in chinatown for little chinese kids with ADHD. It was alright. The kids really have ADD and i don't think their parents know so me and my boss just deal. Mostly the girls are ok but the boys are a pain. Theres also these two 13 year old girls who are really obnoxious and it's really awkward for me to scold them because well, they are like 13, grow up. Anyway, it was fine. My mom bought me sushi in the afternoon and it was ok. The rice was kind of hard and the little fish eggs were only coated on one side which was weird. I bought some havianas today finally. I really love them. They are so soft and they don't hurt like my old navy ones.
So about yesterday night. I went home after hanging out with some people's. It was lank monster, petite fille, and ckinz good bye party. They are all leaving to college next week and it's really sad. The saddest one was la petite fille because I've known her since like forever. We were even talking about it when I was about to leave. I didn't even remember when i actually became friends with her. I feel as if it was a mutual friendship, like it had always been there. I really love petit fille. She's so much fun to be around. We've been through a lot together too and I don't feel like I'll ever meet anyone like her...especially not in college, or at least where i'm going. It was just really weird because it was yesterday when I was just about to go out the door, I finally realized that I am not going to see her anytime I want to anymore. I guess, I've been thinking about it but it hasn't actually happened yet so it hasn't really hit me. It's really odd. I can't really understand it. I don't really know how to feel. I'm really upset and at the same time, I'm not crying. It's bizarre. I'm shocked, sad, upset, confused, all those things. I mean, psh i am happy she's going to college but wow, she's going so far...away from ME. I just can't get over it. I really didn't expect it so soon.

LA PETITE FILLE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME EVER VISIT ME ON THANKSGIVING CHRISTMAS SPRING BREAK AND SUMMER FOREVER. 

You mean so much to me TT.TT even though you're crazy. I still love you. ARTHAJEARHEARHA I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING I FEEL LIKE CRAWLING INTO A BALL UNDER MY COVERS. TT.TT..this is so sad. Soon, everyone's going to be leaving...and I guess i am less sad and confused about the ones who are still reachable but those who are actually leaving to another state, I can't even stand it. 

We're Great. DON'T EVER CHANGE.

Thursday's crapload.

Cute kids can be addicting. When you first see them, all you want to do is hold them tight and claim them like their yours. I understand, I felt the same way the first week of camp. However, as we all know, cute doesn't always mean good. By the second week of camp, you start to get used to the fact that they are cute, but they aren't that cute. You soon start to realize that the more you baby them, the less they treat you like an adult and for me well, that's not ok.

It's August now which means camp is ending approximately...tomorrow which means I've been with these kids from the beginning of June till now and I know how shit works. We've established rules and not to sound like a nanny 911, most of the kids are disciplined by now to understand and follow the certain guidelines that we had laid out for them since the beginning. Now, it's a little difficult when someone new walks into the room. They are unfamiliar with how things work around them. Sure, there are several obvious rules that one should already know such as walking in a straight line, hands to yourselves, no hitting, etc. but for the most part, new people don't know all the ways in which a particular group functions.

Well, my group for example have certain rules. There are certain kids whom we take extra precaution of and there are ways in which we established on how to take care of the troubled ones. New person helper girl today was sent to us by the establishment to lend an extra hand. We, as a group were all thrilled because well, one the counselors of the group get a little break and two, the kids love it. So I embrace our new comer and welcomed her to join our group.

But there was one problem. Our newcomer was feeling the "aww cute snuggle children" syndrome as we all did the first week of camp. So, the rules started breaking and fast. I had some donuts in the morning so i was all hyped up on sugar for half of the day, and the moment the new comer showed up during mid day, I was already starting to crash. My mood starting to sink and my patience level was getting low. The new comer was continuing to embrace the little ones as they all began to ignore each and every one of my commands. The annoying part was that the new comer waved me off like I was either being mean, or just ruining their fun. I don't think the new comer understands that if she takes two of the most problematic kids out of the group and single them out to play with her, the other kids are most likely to jump in and join. If the girl takes the two out of the sitting area and has them sitting "special" with her, half the kids are going to want to do the same. My head was going to explode. I was not in a good mood and I wasn't going to let some girl make it even more difficult for me. So, i had to raise my voice. Nothing serious, just I had to raise my voice more so than normal because the kids were not listening to me, rather listening to the girl who was "breaking the rules." She wasn't so much breaking them but being too leniant towards those whom we all know, we can't be leniant to. I mean, i went to find my bag and the moment I came back, half my kids were wet from drowning their heads in the water fountain. I mean, ok funny, haha I have a sense of humor too but when 9 of them are wet from head to toe, it's a bitch and a half to handle. They get too silly, they are all disgusting, they start complaining, I mean there's a lot of shit to think about. Tell me why the girl was just standing there thinking it was all cute and sweet of the children.

Anyway I was going crazy. To top that off, I had a headache and I had to tell one of the kid's mom that I couldn't baby sit for him anymore. I felt so bad. I had a legitimate reason but I love the kid and he's great and I felt like i made a committment. I guess I just got too much to handle. Thank god tomorrow is friday.

Early morning texting results in miscommunication and wrong messages

Today is my very good childhood friend's birthday, August 13th, turning 18 woot. Anyway, so my cousin is off to college and usually we go to her birthday parties every single year together. However, my cousin isn't HERE this year for her birthday party thus leaving me all alone to make the decision of whether or not to go. Don't get me wrong, i love love love my childhood friend but when i saw all the invited people on facebook whom i had no association with, i got a little overwhelmed. I knew that when i got home from work that day i was going to be overly tired and i would not have the energy to do any thing whatsoever especially going to a party and mingle with people i dont know very well. 

Anyway, so i woke up today around 7 am, still woozy and sleepy and I just remembered that it was my friend's 18th birthday. But i also remembered my cousin wasn't here so i was contemplating whether or not I should go alone(cos well it just wouldn't be the same.) So i decided to text my cousin asking her whether I should go or not and I texted her this: Should i go to (my friend's) thing because i dont really want to without you TT.TT. So then, I clicked send. 5 minutes later, i was wondering whether I actually sent it to my cousin or not because the whole time i was thinking about my friend. I check my sent messages and turns out, I sent the goddamn message to my friend.

How. Embarrasing.

My stomach dropped. My face turned red and my neck was hot. I got so nervous because my friend is like the nicest person anyone could ever meet. She's like hella cool and I couldn't believe i just texted her I didn't feel like going to her party. I mean, if you really know me, I rarely ever am excited about anything really especially get togethers because I'm just so lazy, but I mean, she, her, NICENESS, embarrassment, uggh I just couldn't believe that happened to me. So, i was like should i make it into a huge joke? should i tell her the truth? should i ignore it? like whaat should i do??? I figured, i shouldnt make it into a joke because shes not dumb..at all and she wouldve known and it wouldve been extra awkward. So i jsut told her the truth. I just told her that I missed my cousin(cough cough) and I wished for her to be here with me. She texted me back and said like, "no probz im just glad your coming!"

Goddammit now I HAD to go.

I mean I kinda wanted to go but really, i was just fucking tired as hell. It happened to be a fucking sunny day too and I promised my baby cousins that when theres a sunny day, we'll go to the pool...and guess what, it was today. So i had work, hectic as hell, too many whiny and complaining kids. I go straight home afterwards, get my babies, load them in, and drove them all around to find a present. I found one finally at Macys(on sale) and we rush back to the school for the pool. We went in at exactly 4:30 and swam, ate free food and left immediately. I went home, complained to mother, changed and left.

Party:

The party actually was alright. The peoples were cool, some were a little awkward but overrall fun. we were just sitting around, talking. It was just a little difficult because they were all her friends from school so when they had convos bout school stuff I couldnt really talk about anything. Anyway, it was alright. Aside from the headache and the sleepy eyes, I had fun. I kept the present too because I forgot and I really wanted it. TEHE.

Dedication

So nothing has been going on lately. My days have been going by faster and faster. I think it's because I literally sleep my time away since I'm so tired. I mean, the most intense thing that has happened to me is my allergies stirring up on me...other than that..nothing....

OH WHO AM I KIDDING? MY BELOVED DUMB BUTT COUSIN IS GONE TO COLLEGE!

It's true, she left today at exactly 10:30 AM and although my feelings for her departure  may seem nonchalant, maybe even sadly uncaring, it is just the way I deal when someone I LOVE SO MUCH leaves me. GONE FOREVER. 

Now, ok I am not dramatic. I mean if she left all the way to the west coast or to another country, then maybe I'd shed a tear. But, the girl is only an hour away so I'm not even that heart broken. It is a little weird because I keep thinking she's just sitting on her lazy ass at home watching tv and I could just call her up and force her to do stuff with me. But sadly, she's not. She's all the way in nowheres massachusetts having fun and meeting new people. The funny thing is, and I am getting a little teary eyed, we've been going to the same school for years and whenever we had to meet new people, we always had each other to be anti-social with. We were each other's comfort blanket and if whenever we felt like talking shit, we had each other. She's one of the only people I can show my real feelings to because I enjoy her indifference responses to my constant mood swings. She'd never judge me whether I'm being emo, happy, peppy, angry, whatever. She's just there to always be my bitch pillow. But it's a mutual thing. I bitch, she listens. She bitches, I bitch back for her. I protect her and watch over her while she provides me with my own safety zone. Ya know, maybe sometimes our actual personalities clash but we have developed this relationship so close that no matter where we go, or what we do, we will always be there for each other. Our connection will always been the same, no more, no less. I like that, she's like my medium and I'll always have a medium. 

Anyway, she's up there now and I'll probably see her soon or talk to her online or whatever. I hope she's having fun because as much as we hate people(although i express it a lot more often than she does) I want her to meet cool peoples. I want her to meet the right people and I want her to have a good experience. Yeah, so, that's that. I was talking to my friend vicky today about missing peoples when they go off to college. I guess, I will miss them but I don't think I will cry that much about it. Friendships, I think will and do last a long time if clearly, there is a good relationship. I know that when it comes to friends, I make the most effort to keep up connections especially if they are peoples that I have a good connection with. Friends matter a lot to me because those are the people who have shaped me, and supported me throughout my life. Sure, I've made some bad ones but even with bad ones, I've managed to learn how to be a better person. Now, i know what kind of people I want to be friends with and what type people I like. Anyway, i'll miss my friends and I'll be sad but now, we'll all know and realized just how important we are to each other. Of course, there's im chat, facebook, cell phone and whatever else to keep in touch so it's a hell of a lot easier nowadays. 

yay. positive entry.

Messy short blondes are awesome

Another Agyness video of her being maad cool. Also, her hair is da SHIT.  She's also in a sailor theme outfit, so, that makes her extra cool.

Way to be Agyness

Today, I will write about Agyness, Agyness Deyn. A woman, a model, an inspiration, and a all around good person whom I've been utterly obsessed with since the day she became aTop Model. Not, America's Top Model, but a real Top Model. She's blonde, english, and wears oversized rainbow sweaters, yes, the one and only Agyness Deyn. 

www.buzzphoto.com

I don't think I've ever been so obsessed with a celebrity even though she hardly is one, but i must say I am not ashamed to say that I love her to death. I mean, how could you hate a person who could pull off anything, do anything, say anything, and not worry about the public constantly judging her? I think the media hasn't even said one thing bad about her and it's because she is probably one of the realest kind of people out there in the fashion industry(probably the healthiest one out there as well.) I mean, sometimes i think models are a little overrated, and especially after the media came out with a bunch of reality tv shows on the everyday glamorous model life. So, then everyone became obsessed with not just the models themselves, but the whole way of being as a model. Although fame and glamour all comes with being in the fashion industry, so do a lot of other aspects of the business that is either being exaggerated or isn't even shown on tv. Anyway, i'm not a professional myself, but I think that sometimes, people just do fashion just to do it. Like, it's the popular thing to know, and like. Some go as far as memorizing every collection shown in the spring 2008 issue of Vogue, and some just resort to Victoria Secret models. Either way, bring us back to Agyness, she doesn't just do fashion, she is what fashion is all about. 

  

       

Fashion is whatever looks good on you despite what brand, price, or trend. So what if these pants were "so last season?" If it looks good! Wear it! That's what Agyness does and shes a super model! She buys clothes where ever, and anywhere. She goes to vintage stores, thrift stores, trendy boutiques, expensive high end stores, and she mixes and matches as long as she likes it, it doesn't matter. I mean, she wears vintage thrift store clothes to really fancy shmancy model parties and she flaunts it like it was 100,000 dollars. You can wear the burberry, the coach, the dior, and the hermes, but if you can't pull it off, it just won't matter that you spent thousands of dollars on it. Even people who buy cheap, don't buy cheap clothes if it doesn't look good on you(or even worse falling apart.) I just think, Agyness does it right. I mean, shes a woman who truly could pull off any combination of looks and would look amazing. Don't copy her. Find your own thing. That's Agyness's thing, so don't be just like her or else you'll just be someone who's trying to look like a model too hard. 

Anyway, here's an interview of her for Burberry fragrance. I mean, she's got a great life, and she's loving everything she does, I mean, what's not to love if every major company wants your face to be on the cover of their products? you can practically pick and choose. But, she's not just in it for the money, she's in it for the experience. The fun living, the good living, and I say, that's the best way of living.

MACadoodle came to town!

So, guess what guysth...

I GOTS A NEW MACBOOK PROZ

exciting eh? my mom ordered it through the school so it would be cheaper cos they were having some sort of deal. Anyway, i'm glad it's here and running. When i first recieved  it, i turned it on and set up my account; however, it took me literal 2 seconds to do it! And i couldn't believe it, i didn't believe it. so i saw these 2 random disks and i thought, maybe these disks are part of the rest of the set up. so i popp it in and turns it, they were the disks to restart the whole mac program if you fucked up ur mac or sumthin...so then i thought i fucked up my mac but good thing, i just restarted the whole entire program...heh..heh..heh...

^_^

UPDATED

finally, a blog i am totally satisfied with. plus, my header is hella cool. i took it with my new camera :D yayayaya

Another sunday morning

I really enjoy my sundays. it's like the one day where everything just seems to be going slower. The day is usually very pleasant, serene, peaceful. It's definetly a time for me to just relax before another hectic week begins. I just sit at my computer, go through my itunes, and chill out. it's such a quintessential part of life. relaxation. Everyone needs it even if you don't want it. My mom for example, can't relax for her life. She's a workaholic and if she doesn't work, she'll go crazy. I mean, once in a while she indulges in a beer or the chinese newspaper, but if you truly want to relax, then i say dedicate at least half a day to it. anyway, she does what she wants. For some people, i guess cleaning windows is a way of contentment.

My week has been the same really. Nothing interesting happened. Session 3 of my camp just ended and session 4 is starting. Hardly any of the parents gave tips and I swear, it's just unfair. You give us your kids, we deal with them all day, all their eating habits, temper tantrums, crying fits, all that crap and you couldn't spare a gift card? I guess that isn't the point of the job, but still, an american express would be very appreciated. If i was rich and had nothing to do all day, I would go out on one of my busy days to buy a present for the people who are taking care of my children.

Speaking of taking care of children, so my cousin is going off to college very soon. Sad yes, confused, a little, lost, very much so. My cousin is like my sister. She's been with me since I was born so it's a little odd that she's going away. She's not even going that far away, but definetly far away enough for me to think it odd that she's not right next to me. We've been going to the same school for years and now, it seems, it's ended. It just stopped.

Anyway, children. My cousin has a saturday job in chinatown at this tutoring center for little chinese kids. So, since shes leaving soon, i'm going to be taking over her job. So i go in yesterday to check out the environment and meet the boss. To be honest, the boss lady was a little bland. Too nice I thought to be the head of a tutoring center. To be real honest, i think there isn't enough motivation for the kids to be doing anything. I walk in, the boss lady tells the kids to write a page about their favorite book, and i though to myself, "that's kind of boring." Turns out, the kids thought it too. We're talking about chinatown kids here. These are kids whose moms and dads work day and night while the kids stay at after school programs till they come back. Also, most of the parents are unaware of a lot of things they give their kids. For example, there is no supervision on the internet or the tv. These kids watch everything from barney to south park to you tube clips about god knows what. Also, since the parents don't really have the time to spend it with their kids, the kids spend all their day at school, or watching t.v waiting for their parents to come back. Once the parents come back, the parents want to watch their t.v and that's the most bonding time the kids have with them. It's too sad really.

It's really sad because these kids don't find any interest in anything but the media. The education system clearly has not gotten them to be motivated about anything else but the tv. They just don't want to do or talk about anything but cartoons, youtube, and anime. It's even worse when their parents only know that sending their kids to school must garuntee them a spot at Harvard or MIT. I mean sending to after school programs all day and night? Then, when they come back, force them to "study"? I mean, i would be totally unmotivated about school if all my parents cared about doing was making me into a child prodigy. Oh wait, I was totally unmotivated about school when my parents cared only about making me into a child prodigy. Great.

It is great, actually. I mean look how I turned out! Too bad, not everyone is as lucky as me. But it is great, because I know how I could've turned out to be if I had not rebelled against everything my mother wanted me to be. So, I know how to guide those whom are falling into the ugly hands of the stereotypical parenting ways of the chinese. I know that they are just doing it for our own good, but they need to realize that we can't all be math geniusthz, harvard graduates, and future engineers. We don't all love calculating number 24/7, and read books every minute of our lives. Anyway, enough ranting. So i tell the kids, "You tell me the one thing you know the most about, and you write it down for me." The kids, all of them gave me different topics, some of them surprising, some of them not, but topics that I knew motivated them to actually write. I said, "Show me you're the expert about the one thing you know, because hell, teach me!" And they did. It wasn't their favorite book, but it was definetly their favorite animal, cartoon, hobby, etc. It was a hell of a lot more interesting than a favorite book, especially for these kids since, well, they never get a chance to actually read.

QUE!?

Would you like to eat ice cream shaped like feces?

Well now you can!

http://funfever.blogspot.com/2007/11/taiwans-modern-toilet-restaurant.html




Thank you "Fun Fever" for your most awesome blog. Now when I plan my next vacation, I will be sure to consider the feces ice cream...or the next time i take a shit.

Gwen Stefani 2008: Still a Crackwhore

Ok fine so gwen stefani is still a dumb blonde, speaky voiced, japanese anime-loving freakazoid... BUT HER BEATS ARE STILL GREAT.She also has little japanese girls bound to her every will. It's a part of her evil plan to someday rule japan...

PlAN LAMB: "LETS ALL MAKE BOOTY(LOVE)" GIANT JAPANESE DOLL ORGY!(in costume).

gwen you sick bastard.

I don't know how I feel about having a dumb white girl being the ruler of my country. Oh wait, I do know how I feel:

DAMN YOU PHOTOSHOPPED GENIUSTHZ G.W. BUSH!

Fuckin A. Who the hell has the time to do shit like that? YOU SICK SICK BASTARDS.

Life with Lyme.

Yes it is true. I have lyme disease, a fact that was known even before my doctor finally made it official. Anyway, so i've been insanely tired over the past few days(hence why my blog hasn't been updated). Therefore, I am going to do short recaps of my weeks with everything fun, exciting, shitty, and whatever else that happened to me. As of now, I am listening to some old school r&b and it's taking me back a little so ima jam to this before i continue my post. I can't blog properly when there's good music in the air.

Joe: I wanna know

ok it's done, now gwen stefani: luxurious is playing. despite her pathetic lyrics and her crazy crackwhore japanese anime phase, her beats are fucking great. Anyway, last time i posted was about little miss sunshine's inability to lie online and her predictable gullible nature. Ever since then, she's been trying to lie to me...and she hasn't succeeded in doing so. She's been trying so hard, i've given up trying to make a joke out of it. Honestly miss sunshine, it's getting a little old. You aren't funny and sometimes, you're a bit annoying. This is blog right? I can say whatever I want. She doesn't read it anyway. Sometimes she takes the joke so far, it doesn't even make sense anymore. She doesn't even make sense as a person. Dumbass bitch.

HAHA. just kidding. miss sunshine.

Work has been whatever. That's exactly how my attitude has been towards work. It's work, it's money, whatever. I suck it up despite the fact that I'm dying of exhaustion due to the lyme disease eating me from the inside out. My body aches, and my head hurts. I can barely keep my eyes open and it is a pain to move any part of my body. So imagine looking after 16 little children with the incapability of functioning like a real human being. All I can do is yell across the room for the little bastards to stop running around in circles. But hey, like I said, it's work, whatever.

There were some good parts to it though. Number one: free food(always a plus). Number two: free swim and number three: "Legos are Alive. I hear them in my head" I can be the most miserable mother fucker but if a kid came up to me to tell me the greatest secret of all the great secrets in the world and it was that legos are alive then I can't complain. I think that has to be one of the best quotes I've heard throughout my time at the camp. It isn't the funniest though, this one is:

Kid: Quan where does rain come from?
Me: I don't know like clouds..like sky..like...
Kid: DOES RAIN COME FROM GOD'S TEARS?
Me:.................YES.
Counselor2: Yeah, it could be his pee too.
Me: Yah so you better stop eating the rain.

I think I died a billion times inside when he said that. The funniest part is that he looks like this:

NOW HOW COULD YOU HATE A FACE LIKE THAT?

So other than camp, i've been hangin out with bumpkinz, crackwhore, and sunshinez. We've been goin to lank monster USA for some free noodles and rock band. Three words to describe the event:

BOSTON STREETS SUCK.

Tell me why driving around boston is impossible? Well, not impossible but when google maps and sunshinez ghetto ass GPS doesn't work, IT IS. We were tryin to get to lank monster USA for like two goddamn hours. I wanted to give up so badly but the noodles and rock band temptation was overcoming my frustration. I wasted..10 dollars of gas! 10 DOLLARS! Do you know how much fucking gas that is? That's like..so much gas. Anyway, it was me and sunshinez and we were literal circling around boston before we finally got to around the area we needed to go to and realized...that lank monster's street was around the corner. I was so pissed. Also, fucking bostonians with their fancy landrovers and god knows what car that eats up 100 dollars worth of gas money are the rudest son of bitches on the road. I'm like clearly a confused little asian girl trying to navigate my small little asian car to somewhere recognizable and people just aren't nice! It's like, what's it to you if you let me sneak into your lane? It's worse if you didn't let me sneak in and I thought you were and we crashed. That'd be you're fucking fault for giving me bitch ass ness.

So we get there and we eat noodles and I was forever grateful and content. I played rock band and to my surprise, crackwhore enjoyed it as much as I did. Rock band, guitar hero, DDR, all those match the colors, follow the beat, get more songs, body aching, eye bleeding games are just so fricken addicting. You just want to keep matching more accurately than the last time, beat levels and unlock more songs to start the torture all over again. For some reason, there's some satisfaction in unlocking more stuff and beating levels. It's kind of like an accomplishment...well more so an addiction than an accomplishment but we do like to feel accomplished than admit that we're addicted to rock band, guitar hero, and ddr.

I also got a new camera: DUM DUM DUMI GIVE YOU THE CANON S5 IS POWERSHOT 8.0(in black)

Yes the new love of my life. It is beautiful and it takes beautiful pictures. It's got all these really sweet features for me to get creative and it's as fast as lightning. I mean, there's absolutely no lag time and it just snaps at everything the moment you press the button. And by beautiful pictures, I mean beautiful pictures. It doesn't get fuzzy(like hardly) and flash is not too obnoxiously bright. I absolutely love it. I tried it out today with my baby cousins as my models.

Because I don't trust the internet whatsoever, I can't show any of my babies with their faces in it but these were really good too. This was the color accent option. I KNOW RIGHT SO ILL? I got mad skillz. I also did some art for colleeggeee, heres a picture:


It's this incoming freshman project where we have to create a visual representation of our "journey" to our college. It has to be postcard size and when we go in for orientation, there's an art gallery of all the incoming freshman's postcards. Speaking of, i need to do my artist statement for this piece. Anyway, the rules were pretty simple..the journey could be about anything..your childhood, family, anything that inspired you or led you to the college. So, i didn't really want to go to my college in the first place. It was all about decisions and what was the right decision to make. So I drew me piled in a lot of papers with a lot of problems written on them like: loans, college essays, acceptances, rejections, etc. Basically all the things that make deciding on a college difficult. Then in the back, the writing is my thoughts running through my head of what kind of college I'm looking for. Then in the end, there's a piece of paper floating around saying "decision" which is what I'm hesitantly looking at because I still don't know if I made the right decision...but who knows ya kno? Fuck college, it's too damn expensive for me to be making any real decision.

Lying online works because the truth is up for interpretation

k: REALLY

k: DO YOU THINK

K: ITS A BAD IDEA

k: IM SO SERIOUS

j: i dont think its a bad idea

j: i think it would be cool

j: its just

j: a little cliche

k: the butterfly?

j: is all

k: with the

k: god gave me wings so i can fly??

k: julia

k: really

k: like

k: i really want it

K: ive been thinkin bout it

j: then get it

k: for a while

k: and like

k: roses

k: all over it

j: if you really want it

k: and maybe...a a cage

j: it doesnt matter wha i think

k: so the butterfly

k: is like

k: trapped

j: o thats sorta cool

k: no but that would

k: conteract the idea

k: of god giving me wings

k: so i can fly

k: ...cos i cant in the cage

k: thats stupid

j: well make the butterfly flying out of the cage

k: thats a little

k: too

k: happy for me

k: and should i get it on my back?

k: like lower back?

j: so is god gave me wings so i can fly

j: thats

j: quite happy

k: ok maybe

k: true

k: ok

k: how about

k: butterfly in cage

k: "I'm trapped forever"

k: OHOH

j: WHAT

k: im trapped forever in his heart

j: THATS SO EMO

j: ARE YOU SERIOUS

k: why not?

j: you're kidding right

k: no

j: oo awkward

k: whats so awkward?

k: i mean

k: is it a really bad idea?

j: im trapped forever?

j: ?

k: yah because

k: well

k: i feel like

k: all my life

k: ive always been denied

k: like im trapped

k: ya kno?

j: thats so depressing though

j: do you really want that as a tattoo

k: yah it means

k: a lot to me

k: and if eel like a butterfly

k: is like

K: very symbolic

k: of like

k: innocence and like happiness

k: like

k: all my happiness

k: is trapped in this cage

k: wowowow thanks julia

k: for helping me brainstorm

j: i like your goddess idea

j: stil

k: yah but

k: thats too expensive

k: im just getting a little cage

k: with a baby butterfly

k: maybe a caterpillar..

k: cos like this was all mychildhood really..

j: ok

j: i dont knoww

j: if its meaningful to you then do it

k: no honestly

k: what do you think

k: cos i dont want to be like

k: dumb

j: tell me the whole idea again

k: ok

K: on my back

k: butterly

k: in a cage

k: with words

k: like

k: an arch

k: saying im trapped forever

j: i just think thats so sad

j: like no hope at all

j: if you did something like

j: cause like thats saying like

j: you have no chance of not being trapped

K: i guess..

k: maybe

k: i can just

k: do this

k: wait hold on

k: http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/A80714/high/nr0u-butterfly.jpg

k: like this

j: i also feel like

j: butterflies are so common

j: for tattoos

k: BUT THEY ARE SOO COOL DONT YOU THINK?

j: like that loos like something ive seen

j: so many times

k: what about skulls?

Good friends don't let other friends get trashy butterfly tattooes on their lower back no matter HOW serious(or not serious) they are. Thanks little miss sunshine.

We ended up having a lying fight online and we both fell for each other each time. It's 10:52, I'm tired and I have no life.