Pork and Mushroom Wontons + Bonus!

Pork and mushroom wontons
Ingredients:Lean and fatty pork (one pound)
Mushroom
Shrimp
2 eggs
Salt
Dark soy
Chicken bouillon or powder (the kind you make chicken stock with)
Sesame oilPepper
Wonton wraps (about 50)

Take shrimp, pork, and mushroom and chop them into smaller pieces (make sure you chop them into all equal sizes so that you don’t have too much of one ingredient.) A secret to really flavorful and tender wonton meat is to mix fatty pork with lean pork. What my grandmother does is take off pieces of dark and fatty meat from leftover pork bone and mixes it with the lean pork meat. Once you have the meat chopped up, add the mushroom, and shrimp. Add about two tablespoons of dark soy, like a splash and a half. Then sprinkle in about a teaspoon of chicken bouillon (I spelled that right on the first try!) Add about a teaspoon of sesame oil (this stuff is strong, add more if you’d like.) Add a sprinkling of salt; a tiny sprinkling of sugar and some cracked black pepper to your choosing. Then take two eggs, save one egg white in a separate bowl and take the rest of the eggs and mix it into the meat mixture. This will act as a binding agent. Mix well until you notice that the mixture is sticking together.

Take the wonton wrapper and put it on the palm of your hand. Scoop a fairly big portion with your chopsticks or a teaspoon and half of mixture and place it in the middle. Take your index finger and dip it into the egg white. Smear egg white onto the sides of the wonton and fold. You can fold it however really just as long as the sides are closed and there are no holes. The best way is to fold them up and squeeze the tops so that it makes it look like a nice flower (mainly for presentation really.)

Then! Fry! Pan-fry! Boil! Steam! Freeze for later! However you choose!

oo waves of wontons! swim and bask in its glory!

And guess what I did today…

BONUS RECIPE: Fried Nutella and Banana Wontons

Ingredients:
Nutella
Bananas
Wontons
Oil
Powder sugar

This one is pretty much self-explanatory. You don’t need to be a genius to do this (but of course I am for thinking of it!)

So you take the wontons and scoop about a teaspoon of nutella. Place about 4-6 pieces of chopped up banana (not too mushy bananas) and smear egg white on the outside of the corners. Fold into a triangle, deep fry and voila! The trick to knowing when the oil is ready is to take a wooden chopstick and stick it in the oil. If you see bubbles eating the chopstick, you know it’s ready. You can always just dip a corner of the wonton to see if it eats the wonton too.

Poop makes me a bitter woman.

I work at a summer camp at my old high school and it's a pretty good job to have when there's no one else willing to hire you. I have fun at this job and the rules are pretty simple: watch the kids, feed the kids, change the kids (and the occasional having fun with the kids.) I get paid and that's all that really matters right? I mean, I do my job and sometimes I even go above and beyond by being genuinely interested in helping them grow from little spoiled shits to perhaps better people in the future.

But poop. POOP IS WHERE I LAY DOWN THE LINE.

Usually I'm sitting there trying to reason with the kids and holding in my scolding voice to avoid making them cry in fear. I really, really try my best for a cantonese girl (we get really fucking loud and have no sympathy for others.) I mean, i still believe in being aggressive, direct, and stern about certain things, especially with problem children. If you have a problem child, i'm going to either threaten, grab, scold, and yell at your kid. It's inevitable.
.
Today was a pretty good day, the same as usual really. The same problem children just fucking up slowly as they grow, and the same ol' me trying to fix them before they are fully fucked. Then, this kid, yelling my name "Quan! Quan! Quan!" I quickly turn to see that he was on the verge of tears with his hands against his buttox telling me that he had to go "really" bad. I was like, alright kid, just hold on and he continues to tell me that he "really" needed to go. I run up to him to see that indeed, he needed to go and he needed to go so bad that he was already on his way.

Shit.

I quickly grab his towel, wrap him up like a burrito and carry him, along with his feces covered lower half to the boys bathroom. I place him on the toilet unaware that some of his droppings had smeared all over me (you see how above and beyond I go for these buggers?) I'm trying to clean him up without trying to seem condescending since i was covering my nose with my shirt the whole entire time. I call the head department lady to come help me and when she came in, she handed me a pair of gloves and told me I had to change.

WHAT? CHANGE? FOR WHAT?

For yes. Shit was all over me. I was pooped on. My life right there stopped for a split second. My only reaction to the situation was:

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

Until i realized that maybe I shouldn't say that to the already fully embarrassed kid. I ran out and got an extra shirt, changed into my bathing suit, and stepping out with everyone at camp already knowing what had happened. "Oh, you're the one with the poop kid."

Yes. Unfortunately. Unfortunately because it happened to the nicest little kid in my group. Unfortunate because he was genuinely embarrassed and sorry for what he did. Unfortunate that all of it had to get on ME.

After that, i mean shit just went downhill. (Hah) Problem children became more problematic. Whiny kids became more whiny. The pussy kids were pussier than ever. I think this is what I mean when I say poop makes me a bitter woman because poop sucks, being pooped on really sucks, and then poopy kids just DRAWS THE LINE.

I was just so frustrated today that every kid, even the cute little nice ones, I yelled at to either move quicker, stop talking, turn around, pay attention, what the fuck, shut up, you little piece of shits. There was one that I just couldn't deal with anymore. He is clearly a kid with no discipline. He knows what's wrong and what's right because he's a policemanfirefighteremtpiratecaptainconstablesailor. It comes out of his mouth but when you ask him to simply turn around, stop talking, he continues to grab your hair, shirt, face, or threaten you with obscenely specific gestures of hate. Clearly, spoiled little brat kid with two gay fathers who work too hard to stay at home with him.

So the little devil child is freaking out because he couldn't do an art project, presume to shriek in tones that break the sound barrier, and just cause a ruckus. He begins to climb one of these metal shelfs so I grab him and pull him down. He DARES to pull my hair. I grab him in the face, demand him to look me straight in the eye, i even helped him a little by asking him to find my eyes, and i told him that if he ever PULLS my hair again or DISRESPECTS any teachers, it won't be pretty. I think he got it and I think the art teacher thought I was a child abuser.

I gotta do what I gotta do.

On a much lighter news.

Redconversekid: will you wear those shoes tomorrow?
Mewithredconvereseson: Yes
Redconversekid: and the day after that?
Mewithredconvereseson: Yes
Redconversekid: and the day after that? and the day after that? and the day after that?
Mewithredconvereseson: Yes so we can be matching forever
Mewithredconvereseson: yeah! I want that.

WEE i love children.

oh and.

jar6790 @ 5:26
i thought it was funny
that i smoked
and now im naked
im just like
livin it up
maybe ill make myself a nice beverage now
ooo no
im driving
wont go that far

For 142 dollars, I do not have a gum disease.

So two weeks ago, my mom sent me to this new dentist on Beacon to get a simple check-up. You know, just to make sure everything is going well and that my teeth aren't completely yellow from smoking, yet. I was kind of excited, i never hated the dentist as much as other people say they do. I was just happy to get my teeth cleaned.

My dentist is this little old mandarin man, a sweet man with a gentle voice and genuine characteristics. He's apparently the dentist for my whole entire family so he was totally cool with me. He was all extra nice talking to me about my mom, making sure I have the right insurance, and just overall really welcoming. I was enjoying my time just chillin' on the lounge-like dentist chair which i personally find quite comfortable, and i'm all about when they do the whole lowering of the top and bottom part of the chair. Well, it was when he was looking at my teeth with his little mirror that he stopped everything, took off his little glasses, and gave me a grave stare. He then told me I had a gum disease.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

what is this shit? what fucking gum disease? I mean like ok, minus the smoking, and my not so completely perfect dental care, i thought i was fine! He then continued to explain that there's a lot of gunk stuck in between my gums and that if that isn't taken care of, it is going to transform into a vile disease that will not only rot the inside of my mouth but will deform my jaw bone structure.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

Crazy talk I thought. I don't feel shit, but i didn't doubt the grandpa, he most likely knew what he was talking about right? So he schedules me for deep cleaning which is when they shoot your mouth with novocaine so that they can use really itty bitty sharp instruments to dig into your gums for gunk. I mean, i've had four teeth pulled out once, and that wasn't so bad. Wait, i don't remember. Shit.

So, today was the day that I had to go in for that. He told me before that there would be novocaine and some digging into the gums. I went in, sat down, and repeated my little meditation inside my head to help me relax and keep calm. It's very simple actually, it really just goes like this:

SHUT THE FUCK UP
SHUT THE FUCK UP
SHUT THE FUCK UP
SHUT THE FUCK UP
DON'T BE A PUSSY
JUST DO IT
SHUT THE FUCK UP

Yeah, it works every time.

So he shoots the damn needles into my mouth, I 'shut the fuck up' and take it.

GOD IS SCRAPING OF THE TEETH THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE FEELING OF ALL TIME. It is this uncomfortably tingly sensation that starts from your bones and runs down to your toe bones! GOD it was JUST SO UNCOOL. Now I know why people HATE the dentist so much and really, after that, I despise the dentist.

Then I thought, ok, my mouth is numb, that didn't hurt so bad. He stops what he's doing and tells me that "OH! I don't really need to do the whole mouth because parts of your teeth are actually fine! I was just doing this so that you won't be in danger of a gum disease! You're all done!"

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

fricken chinese doctors in america.

So i'm like, whatever like it's over and I don't have to deal with this. I want a burrito. So i get out to the front desk and he's mumbling some things to his secretary about my payment and I'm like "oh! can you just bill my mom?" and he was like, "well, since i cleaned two parts of your mouth, i'm really suppose to charge you more, but i'm going to give you a discount...but you still have this fifty dollar deductible and about the billing, billing is a bit of a hassle so we try not to..." I'm like, "ok how much is it?" The secretary lady looks over the computer and says to me "495 dollars."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

wait just kidding hah, she then goes "oh but your insurance covers about eighty percent so plus the deductible, it's like 142 dollars."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?

fuck me. I paid. Got out. Got a burrito and went home to sting my numb mouth with a shit load of hot sauce. I can't believe I just paid 142 dollars for a gun disease I didn't have. fuck doctors. you guys suck.

Ol' Steamed Fish.

This is one of my favorite ways to have fish because it is so painstakingly easy and satisfying, it blows my mind every single time. If you mix the rice and the fish sauce together = heaven. Fish don't taste better any other way my friends.


Steamed Fish (of any kind really! however, mostly with white flaky fish is best. Salmon, not so much.)
Ingredients
Fish (preferably whole but pieces are fine)
Corn Starch
Salt
Pepper
Scallions (lots)
Water
Ginger

This is the easiest way to steam fish with a lot of flavor. Prepare the fish whether it be whole or in pieces (if its whole, scale the scales, take a chopstick and run it across its spine so that when you steam it, the fish doesn’t explode.) Rub with a bit of salt, and cover lightly the whole fish with corn starch. This allows for the fish to be extra soft, flaky, with little to no fish water running. Put sticks of scallions under the fish, this takes the fish smell away. Steam the fish until it looks done! (We have a pot made specifically for steaming. If you don't have one, here's a trick):

Take a pot, a big one to fit the fish and the plate. Fill the pot with a bit of water, half of a quarter way ( i don't do math). Anyway, take some sort of standing rack, and place it on the inside so that the plate with the fish on it has a place to sit. Cover the top, and steam steam :D

Take out the fish. Stick a chopstick in and if it goes through, its done. Once its done, take it out for it to cool. This takes around 15-20 minutes, depending on how big your fish is. The best fish however is not over cooked fish.

Sauce
Take a tiny pot, pour in dark soy sauce, oil and a little bit of water. Let it boil and then throw in slivers of ginger (lots) and scallions (lots.) Stir in a spoonful of sugar and pour this mixture over the steamed fish. Voila!

By the way, if you haven't noticed, i don't put in measurements. I don't really measure, most of these ingredients is eyeballed so if you know you put too much salt on things, don't. If you notice you don't put too much flavoring, put a little more. I think this is the best way to learn how to season food properly, but i mean, this is JUST steamed fish. There isn't much to it.

Second Thoughts.

It's 3:39 AM and i feel...great!

I fell asleep at the earliest time around 10 pm, considering the fact that I haven't been sleeping at a normal time lately. It just feels so great when I get enough sleep in my body that my body naturally wakes up. I like the feeling of getting up refreshed and content to go about my day. Honestly, I haven't felt this way for a while. It just feels as if time is passing and I'm mostly unaware of it.

My solution? smoke up.

Yes. Smoking helps with sleep and when done with a good friend always helps with the time passing. So, when i'm upset, i'll smoke and forget about it because why do i need to think about it? it just stresses me out and makes me miserable. I should just go about my daily grind, go home, smoke, go to sleep. Sounds good to me. I don't need to think or do anything that I know i'll regret later. I don't have to care or do anything about anything. Unless of course, I really needed to. But i just want to do my thing, hang out with friends, draw, sleep, anything that doesn't give me second thoughts to do. Why is that so hard for me during my daily life? It seems that when I smoke, I am a more honest me. I do and say things that come to mind, though most of those things are kind of silly in retrospect but nevertheless more honest than if I were to think of doing it when Im not intoxicated.

I always think too much.

I hate that about myself because sometimes I wish I would just grow some balls and shut up. I tell other people to do it, yet I can't seem to talk myself out of thinking twice. Seriously, it's pissing me off because truly deep down, I don't give a shit! So it seems that I am hyper paranoid and overreacting but it's just me asking myself over and over again, why don't i really care? I always feel like I should but I just really don't, yet sometimes I can convince myself that I do. When that happens, I don't necessarily feel sad or anything but just unreal.

Feeling unreal. I've been feeling unreal. that's just crazy talk but it isn't. I have been feeling out of place and away from things. When I find myself driving or on the road, I feel like my body is on autopilot and my mind is just floating. Sounds a bit nerve racking and dangerous, i probably shouldn't be doing it but I can't help it. It just kicks in sometimes and when I realize that it is happening, I shake out of it. Am i insane?

It's not like i think about anything serious, mostly just things that seem nice and dreamy. That's nice right? It's like I'm laying in an opium house fucking day dreaming all day but never actually getting anything done.

Quit dreaming, Don't have second thoughts. Smoke, and do what you got to do.

Perhaps that is what I just need to do, maybe minus the smoking part but really, that's just an added bonus.

New layout!

So, i just spent like 3 hours changing this lay out for my blog. i think, i did a pretty good job if i do say so myself. i've decided to turn a new leaf! dish the black! lighter warmer colors for the year! perhaps this will encourage me to ...blog more? i should! YES i should!

Stuck

Tonight, I smoked a cigarette, needless to say, it was one of the best cigarettes I've ever had. I can't say that I am a regular smoker, but I sometimes indulge in one or two, mostly too see what the fuss is about these cancer sticks. I don't know how and why people start, perhaps out of curiosity, but it is very enticing to smoke one. I've smoked a bunch before but none was like the one i had tonight.

I stumbled out of my deceased grandfather's room looking for the one cigarette I had hidden in my purse, while shuffling in my flower bag for a lighter I had recently stolen from the kitchen and headed upstairs to my slowly renovating attic. There's nothing in my room except a newly waxed floor and a bed, a stereo, and a rotating fan. Perfect. I opened the window, lit my cigarette with some bossa nova playing in the background as I slowly enjoyed time passing.

I haven't been sleeping lately and I have no idea why. Usually, I am asleep by 11 but for some reason, this summer has hit me with long and slow nights. I try to pass time by going on the internet, watching youtube videos of Anthony Bourdain and his travels, eating and enjoying life. I'm envious watching him eat, drink, and meet people with such ease. Why can't I do the same?

Lately, I've been feeling a bit stuck. Stuck in what, I don't know but it seems that everything I dream of is becoming more and more out of reach. It seems that I can never make a decision to go for it or not and therefore, I find myself stuck, sitting in this bed, thinking and thinking about what to do to make my life more memorable.

So, I don't think there's any solution to this but the cigarette that I just had definitely just stopped time in my tracks, for once, in a good way.